My Buddy Boy

Been dreading for this day to come.. The last 10 months have been surprisingly miracle months.. The last 4 weeks have been hard, this past week has been very rough, these past 3 days have been extremely difficult, and today has been absolutely heart breaking. I’m not really the type to talking about her feelings.. I put a smile on my face and act like nothing bothers me.. But today, I felt like I needed to just VENT and let it out.

10 months ago, back in November, we were told our dog, Kody had a tumor and kidney failure and he was not going to make it to Thanksgiving day. We were told we had to put him down soon for him to not suffer any longer.  But… Surprisingly, Kody became a fighter dog. Thanksgiving came around and he acted like he was the healthiest dog on the planet! He showed us he did not want to go, and he was going to fight to stay in our lives. Throughout these 10 months, Kody was on multiple different pill medications and had to get IV fluids every single night, and he had to go through 2 surgeries.. It was very very tough but he took it like a true champ. Like, how guilty would you feel if you put a down when he’s acting like such a happy dog and is showing no signs of suffering whatsoever?.. Pretty guilty.. I couldn’t do it. So we did everything we could to keep him alive and happy. And it was the best decision.

Kody turned 15 years old back in July. He’s a miniature Australian Shepard and their lifespan is 13-15 years. Of course we were BEYOND HAPPY he made it to 15 whole years, but once he hit the top of his lifespan he started getting weaker and weaker. 4 weeks ago, he tore his ACL and has been limping around, not being able to use his doggy door, not being able to go up and down the stairs.. He was not doing to hot 😕 Since he’s 15 and at the top of his lifespan, he would not be able to make it through another surgery so we knew the day to put him down was coming soon. This past week, Kody stopped eating, and it was difficult for us to get his medications down… We could tell it was time.

3 days ago, we set the date and time for the vet to come to the house and put him down. JUST THE THOUGHT of having to SET a date and time to put your dog down is the WORST FEELING. Just knowing that it was set for Sunday at 4pm.. like that breaks my heart!! I’ve been thinking about if I could even handle being there as the vet gives Kody his shot that stops his heart… Cried myself to sleep the last three nights just wishing for today to not come. I would see my neighbors walking their dogs, I would see a dog commercial, literally anything dog related and I instantly would start crying.. SHIT IT SUCKEDDDDD!!! It really really f*cking sucked 😩

Now today is Sunday.. Today is the day that I never wanted to come. So so so so many tears shed, I don’t think I have any tears left in me. Went through an entire box of tissues during this whole process… Once it started getting close to 4pm I knew those were going to be my last few alive moments with my pups… and I was drowning in my tears… The vet called to let us know she was here, she came in the house & we did the putting down process and the second she said “His heart has now stopped” I completely lost it.. held my baby’s paw the entire time. My heart hurts but I know he is in a better place.

my last moment ❤️

I am nothing but thankful that Kody lived past his lifespan, nothing but thankful that he has been quite the little strong FIGHTER for my fam & I! Many many many times I wished I could just trade him spots when I saw him suffering. But he has been quite the miracle dog. I will forever cherish all the memories we’ve had together, to me dancing and singing embarrassingly in front of you every day, to me asking you if my outfits, hair and makeup look good, to me giving you many treats just because you have a cute face, to me cuddling up next to you on the floor as I do my homework but get distracted to give you more treats lol 😆 and let’s not forget giving you allll my chicken in my chicken noodle soup that I have once a week lol. Beyond blessed that God had put your sweet self in my life buddy boy, I love you, and will forever have a warm place in my heart for you.. May you rest easy in doggy heaven Kodybear 🐶🐻❤️

 

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